It’s rare to come across a post that grabs you & screams: yes, THAT. This one did for me. If you follow, you know I mostly like to share/write my own posts that come from this slightly (or not so slightly 😉 bizarre noggin of mine. But this one from ailey jolie was too spot on not to share.
We aren’t taught as kids to have the uncomfortable convos – w others…nor w ourselves. So what happens when we don’t know/feel comfortable in many situations? Avoidance…& that avoidance not only hurts others, it comes back to hurt us as well!
Think abt the scenarios in life where avoidance of discomfort or directly addressing things, happens:
– explaining to a date why you had a good time, but not a great time/no real spark to meet again
– telling a job applicant the reasons why they didn’t get selected
– discussing w a prospect in biz why you aren’t going w their product or service
– telling a fam member why you don’t feel comfortable sweeping things under the rug…that something’s bothering you
– explaining to a partner that your feelings have changed, & you don’t control your feelings, so you’re not sure why this is happening
These are obv just SOME examples. The actual list is massive & wouldn’t fit here. But as a result of us not being taught how to address these uncomfortable scenarios – ghosting happens. Disappearances instead of addressing & explaining. And whether we like to admit it or not, ghosting tremendously hurts others as they struggle wondering WHY? Why’d that person not call me again? Why’d I not get that job? Why doesn’t my fam member call as often as in the past?
It hurts others but – it also hurts us. When WE avoid the tough convo, we may think – “big deal, I buried it & moved on so I don’t have to address it.” But nope…that stuff stays in the subconscious. The human brain knows it’s wrong – but to avoid discomfort ourselves, we often are ok making others uncomfortable w our disappearance…& while we think we bury those things, they’re like holes in our dams that leak even more water thru.
Practice getting comfortable w the uncomfortable. Even if it’s not for “them”…YOU will benefit in the long run.
