This is a pattern I’m noticing more & more of – online & in person.
Last post I shared the bravery of an OBGYN who was fed up w the current “system” telling her (& her colleagues) they needed to remain stoic. Going from room to room needed to be a new, blank slate experience for each new mother/partner delivery. Meanwhile she spoke abt how impossible that could be at times, given the complications that they as docs see – w newborns/moms.
“Just suck it up & pretend complications or tragedy didn’t happen in the previous room”…bc that’s what the industry tells them they must do. Meanwhile, that suppresses trauma & over times is unsustainable. It’s at least part of the reason we lose docs to burnout…even to suicide. This OBGYN was taking a stand, advocating to change those norms.
I took that post to Twitter, & added my own narrative: how great it’d be if leaders in all “offices” were willing to be vulnerable like this: CEOs, hedge fund managers, business owners, law firm partners. Keep in mind I (as well as the doc) was advocating for openness abt on the job stressors we’re told by our industries, to keep in. Here’s one of the comments received on that tweet:
“I don’t like this. Everybody wants to spill their emotions & their feelings. It cheapens them. Contrary to fiction, letting it all hang out is seldom a positive experience. The workplace is not the set of Oprah. Exercise some restraint.”
That’s the FEAR we’re facing abt vulnerability. No one said this doc should open up abt “the affair they’re having.” Yet look at what the feedback jumped to – Oprah’s couch.
When we work w administrators at schools, we get asked a LOT: how should we deal w the teacher who doesn’t buy into openness at all. My answer: “those are the very ppl who need this the most.”
Ppl who shun vulnerability don’t feel comfortable “sitting in their own sh*t” to actually confront it & work thru it. Resistance (online, in person) is nothing more than: I’m more comfortable staying like I am, than confronting what I’ve been thru. And if you change the culture “here,” where I work, you’re making me face it. Well – yes. You (& we) need to!
