I have a family history related to depression and I have felt as though I have had it since I was a kid. Athletics helped me keep it manageable. When I became a professional cyclist, and eventually started doping, the symptoms became progressively worse. I was diagnosed with clinical depression during the height of my career.

My depression felt like a heavy blanket. At different times it would sneak up and cover me. It would make me feel as though I couldn’t move. As I aged and life became more complicated, it affected me more and more. At it’s most powerful moment, I was completely debilitated by it and considered suicide. I felt alone and in some sort of a prison.

With the encouragement of family, who recognized my sadness, I asked for help from an amazing psychologist in Boston (Dr. Charles Welch). He helped me tremendously and I am extremely grateful. He got me back on track.

In the beginning, it was both talk therapy and antidepressant medication. Today, it is exercising outdoors, yoga, meditation, and diet.

I decided to go public with my story because I felt as though I had reached my tipping point. With the exception of my family, I had been hiding my depression from everyone since I had been diagnosed 7 years earlier. Initially, I was just hoping to help myself by letting go of this secret as a way to move forward. What I didn’t realize was that it gave a lot of people the courage to share their story and seek professional help. That’s what we’re hoping here with the Alliance – by telling our stories, others will feel comfortable opening up and sharing more of their own.

I was completely baffled by the amount of support I received. What I didn’t realize was a lot of people have had similar experiences with mental health complications personally or with a family member or friend. We are not alone, which is why #SameHere is so strong. Over the years I have had a lot of people share their story with me and I can see/feel their relief.