I have had 16 surgeries through my football career. When I retired, I went into a trauma facility to work on things from the past I had not yet addressed. Going in there to get help, it was truly first time I allowed myself to be vulnerable.

Each surgery and each of my rehab processes made me understand what type of fighter I was…where my will was…and helped me realize that when you focus on the little things and commit yourself, how successful you can be in life. Throughout a number of the times I struggled in my life, I was also addicted to opioids, and I had to find a way to get through and recognize I had a personality that found coping in addictive habits. I had a lot of trust issues which hurt a lot of people who were close to me, and who did great and genuine things for me, so when I went for help, I found out that I had a lot of childhood trauma. I worked to make myself very self-aware of my actions, and this all allowed me to be vulnerable without any expectations. When I allowed myself to be vulnerable, I became a better father, son, friend, and partner.

It’s crazy cause I tried to get help before, but it wasn’t me “really” trying to get help when I was playing football in 2017. I was looking for someone to confirm my feelings and thoughts. So, I really consider the first time I received help – it was ironic because I went because I had to go – dealing with something else, and it just so happened that was the first time I realized I truly needed help. I was in Vail, Colorado and it was in 2019. The many different practices that I have tried have been hiking. working with a therapist, yoga, and physically continuing to work out even after my career – it’s something that allows me to have a peace.

Growing up I realized I never understood how to communicate what I was going through because we never had people who were vulnerable with us. I realized if I would’ve understood that it was more beneficial than harmful to open up, I def would’ve been more aware and made better decisions in life. So, I feel like it’s my duty to keep the rest of the world and my community from making those same mistakes.

People actually opened up and were able to relate back to me, because at some point in life people go through hard times – which is new territory when it first happens. So, fear then plays a factor because of the unknown. Once you show someone a way to succeed, it’s easier for them to go through the hard times because they have an understanding that there can be positive outcomes.