When I was younger & something bothered or confused me, here’s what I’d do: I’d think about it more. I was convinced I could “figure it out” on my own. Stigma against talking about it was never my issue. Instead, a true understanding of what kinda damage I was doing to myself by obsessing was my issue!
My rationale was – well I think about it more than anyone, it’s my personal thought, so I have the clearest picture of what’s going on…how can anyone I explain it to actually help me get a better perspective on it?!
How I wish I knew then, what I know now. Take any difficult or perplexing thought you’ve had. You typically do one of 3 things w it: suppress it, obsess about it, or talk it out.
We know suppression eventually comes back to haunt us, & has a cumulative effect on the “room” it takes up in our system & the damage it does.
Until you’re told otherwise, the other 2 options: thinking about it & talking about it, each sound like they’d have the same result – they’d give you a clearer picture. Unfortunately, the reality couldn’t be further from that conclusion. Thinking obsessively about the thought is like being a truck, stuck in mud, trying to escape, but digging deeper & deeper tracks. The tires are moving as fast as they can but you’re actually getting even more stuck. Science tells us we’re actually creating “superhighways” for those thoughts to travel faster across synapses, w more strength.
On the flip side, talking about it – you’re still spinning the wheels, but it’s as if you now put platforms under the 4 tires, giving them a chance to take grip & dig out FROM the mud.
This is why we advocate so much for sharing your stories. If it helps to share it publicly & set your thoughts free to the world, go ahead. If it’s more comfortable to share w a friend, fam, or therapist, then by all means, do that. But don’t make the mistake I made: thinking about it obsessively. This actually has the exact opposite effect as talking it out. Don’t allow those superhighways to form…they’re effen hard to deconstruct.
#SameHere🤙#anyonelse #talkaboutit #weareallalittlecrazy #letitout #learnandgrow #wishiknew #mentalhealthadvocacy