Gonna give a few of examples here, bc each of us have diff highs we’ve chased.
I’ve shared before that our bud @rwalk56 was chasing the “high” of making the NFL his whole life as a kid & young adult thinking that’d bring him happiness. Once he “made it”…happiness alluded him. He achieved that goal, it was nice he got there, but he asked – Is this it?
@slivingstn similarly chased winning Olympic Gold…& she attained it. On the podium getting her medal she asked the same question Reggie did: Is this it?
Non athlete? I’d shared my buddy just had his daughter’s bat mitzvah & w all the planning & logistics he was looking fwd to that “moment” when they got thru it, & the work was over, so he could reflect back & say we did “it.” But as I spoke to him at the end, he was upset the whole process was over. That high he’d expected from the work being behind him & his fam didn’t bring him happiness.
I’ve never done cocaine. But remember very vividly the first time my friend from HS did, & I asked him how it was, & his answer stuck w me: “An amazing high…that lasted too short. Now every time I do it I’m chasing that same high, & I can’t fully get back there.”
I’ve learned that happiness, unlike the above examples, is NOT expecting a single moment to be wonderful. It’s enjoying a process. I’m a Jets fan…& while the team’s been awful all my life, would I love for them to win a Super Bowl once? Yes. But that’s not happiness. Happiness is having my close friends who are also Jets fans – to commiserate w, as we chase one day getting to that spot. It’s the camaraderie, connection, togetherness, & even the shared pain.
I don’t have my own kids, but do have nieces. The moment they are born – that’s a HIGH. But happiness is being able to sit on a couch w them on a random Sunday & just love being in their presence, wanting for nothing.
We so often mistake highs for things that’ll bring us lasting happiness. They don’t. That’s a recipe for disappointment. Think abt a place, a person, a situation where you can “just be.” For @slivingstn it’s being w her 4 daughters/watching them play sports. You can find your happiness similarly.