I share from my own experiences, as that’s the only way I know – to put out there what I live thru & the lessons that come from those experience. This post will get very personal…bc my fam just went thru a very personal event.
Had shared recently abt the loss of my grandmother last wk. I recognize how fortunate my fam is, to have had a matriarch live to 101…to see 6 great grandchildren. At the same time, loss hurts no matter when & how it comes.
Our last major loss to a grandparent came in the early 2000s. 20ish yrs ago! That’s a looong time.
And at the time of loss, you wonder who’s gonna be arnd for it. In the Jewish religion, generally, you have a funeral (service, closed casket), & burial on the same day…& then you do what’s called “sitting shiva,” for abt a wk after the funeral – ppl come pay their respects – or come comfort you.
My parents live in a close-knit town. They’ve been there for 43yrs. One brother’s fam is in the SAME town. Another brother is a few towns over – w my brother’s wife’s parents in the same town.
Bigger than geography – is having kids. My parents have their 3 sons. My brothers both have 2 daughters. When you have kids, you have community bc – you’re at events, games, school plays, etc. It’s built in to the experience.
I’m the dude, still not married, no kids, living in NYC…w literally not ONE single friend my age left, living in NYC too. Candidly, that can get lonely. My social life is on me to create.
It’s why I was so touched by the friends who came to my house last nt. Some from elementary school. Some from MS & HS. Some from college. Some from work life.
Some – embarrassingly, we haven’t seen each other since C0v!d. But they showed. Their fams don’t live in my parents town. We don’t both have kids in the same schools. It wasn’t a down the block trip. Yet, they came.
You find out a lot when a loss happens. Who can you lean on. Who’ll be there.
It’s not all rainbows & butterflies. Periods like this always come w disappointments of who doesn’t come, too. But I’ll end on this: if loss isn’t the time to show up – to show you care, when is? If you can, be there for a friend.