12/14/19 #SameHere Hero: Jake Newton

Today’s #SameHere🤙Hero: Jake Newton, the newest member of the Influencer Alliance.

 

Jake was a stellar hockey player growing up, being drafted by the Anaheim Ducks & spending some time in the Colorado Avalanche organization. All sounds like the perfect life, right? Except that for over 2 yrs of his life as a child, he was sexually abused by his older male cousin. The cousin threatened him about ever sharing what happened, so Jake kept it in.

 

This led to major bouts of depression & ptsd. He’d go on to play professionally overseas, in Finland, where he still plays now. Unfortunately he made a poor decision w his (now ex) wife & cheated, & he’s been sharing custody of their kids, which has been hard on everyone.

 

Jake, who I got to have an extensive convo w over the phone is a solid individual. He knows his wrongs, & he works his but off to heal & help others. As you’ll read, he believes we all have within us, the power to heal ourselves. Though, he will say that going to therapy was huge for him. We have a # of upcoming Celeb & other Influencers to intro. For now, please welcome our newest, Jake!

 

“As a 5 to 7 year old, I was sexually abused by my cousin! To this day, as a 31 year old, I still remember the taste, smell & sound of it happening & even where in the house, it took place.

 

For 18 years, I didn’t receive any type of help. During my teenage years, I battled w depression & mood swings. Moving away from home, at the age of 15, to play hockey, was a challenging time for me. At a time when I needed family & love the most, I was on my own & felt alone as I tried to overcome these mental struggles.

 

One of the biggest challenges I faced, was viewing the boys/men I played hockey against, as if they were my cousin. I remember back to when I was experiencing the abuse & what my cousin told me. I told him, I was going to tell my parents about what he was doing to me & he said, ‘If you do that, I am going to beat you up.’ The fear I had from him saying that to me, stopped me from ever saying anything to my parents.

 

Now playing hockey, it was hard to differentiate, mentally, my cousin from the people I played against. Every month, for one week at a time, for 8 years of my life, I couldn’t operate as my normal self. I would become so nervous & scared to be myself. At the time, I didn’t understand why or where it was coming from. But, now I understand & believe it was all directly linked to my sexual abuse. Playing hockey during these times, was some of the most mentally challenging things I’ve done. I’m very proud of myself, when I think back to those times & how I was always able to push through.

 

After signing an NHL contract w the Anaheim Ducks, after my freshman season at Northeastern University, my ex wife started going to therapy. She had asked if I wanted to go w her & that’s when some of the work began. During my second season, I was traded to the Colorado Avalanche & played for their AHL team, in Cleveland, Ohio. After a couple of unsuccessful months w the Monsters, I was sent down to the CHL in Allen, Texas.

 

My career was in a downward spiral & I didn’t know how to handle the emotions or articulate how I was feeling. By not getting help from the sexual abuse, I was taught how to hide from my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I was taught how to keep everything in and push it under the rug. Instead of seeking help from external resources, during this difficult time in my life, I turned to alcohol & marijuana. I thought that these coping mechanisms would take the pain away. I thought, they would allow me to feel better. But what I didn’t know at the time, is that we as humans, aren’t able to select which feelings we numb. So while I thought I was only numbing the negative pain, I was also numbing the positive things in my life. I unfortunately made the decision to cheat on my ex wife. After this decision, I realized the impact my decisions were having on those closest to me. That following summer, I took a deep dive into therapy & trying to make peace with my childhood trauma.

 

Therapy was a major help for me as I went through it for 2-3 years. But, for me, after those years, my mind was still in control. Two years ago, after my ex wife decided she didn’t want to be with me any longer, I turned within. I was away from her & my two kids, playing in Finland. The news hit me like a bullet to the brain. I felt broken. Such a big sense of purpose, for being away from them, was altered with one decision. After I was able to regain my focus, I turned to spirituality & meditation. I healed myself & made a vow, to not allow anything external, to make me feel internally what that moment did.

 

I believe therapy to be a great resource for people, but, I also believe that we have the power to heal ourselves. We just didn’t grow up learning that, so its a hard concept for most to grasp. We unfortunately believe that we must outsource our healing & get it from someone else. Yes, they can help, but in the end, it must come from within.

 

The feedback I got from sharing my #SameHere story, was & still is amazing. I did a big article about it, in the biggest newspaper in Finland & it was well received. Ive done podcasts & blogs about my experiences as well & get many messages from people, saying how it has helped them. I believe, that once you heal from your past & make peace with it, you should share your story. Because, there’s someone out there that needs to hear it & there’s nothing more powerful than that!”

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