Today’s #SameHere Hero: Adam Kaye. His willingness to share his story is a true gift to the world.
“My father served in the Army during Vietnam and came back from the war with undiagnosed PTSD. We did not know from that diagnosis at the time, but when he would get triggered he would lose control and have outbursts over the littlest of things. He certainly did not have the patience to be around my sister and I. He consumed himself with work and was never there for us as the father that we needed him to be. That definitely played a big role in how we grew up, and shaped me into a young man who began experimenting with drugs at the early age of 14. Even though I always had friends in my life, I always felt alone and never felt fully part of anything. This is why I got along great with mind altering substances.
Fast forward to 1998 and my best friend died in a car accident at the ripe old age of 18. This only fueled my addiction. Several years later I was introduced to opiates which began a 12 year affair of a life of misery. This way of life involved stealing, lost jobs, strained family relationships, and a depleting self-worth with no confidence whatsoever. I entered my first rehab right before I married my high school sweetheart and started using again shortly there-after. That was a very toxic relationship and the marriage ended up failing, and I found myself strung out harder than I was before. I checked into a Christian based program called Faith Farm for 10 months and managed to stay clean for a total of 18 months. But like every addict out there, I thought that by staying clean for a period of time that I could start using again like a normal person. Boy was I wrong. And back and forth like a ping pong ball I went. Despite meeting a beautiful woman, who is now my wife, I kept on relapsing again and again. I tried every way to get clean but I just was not done with the lifestyle.
The last time I used was at a family get together nightmare in which I really affected my 9 year old niece. My wife was willing to give me one last chance and I just could not go on living the way I was. The lying, the cheating, the manipulating. It’s a full time job trying to maintain as an addict. I was truly broken and could not stand who I had become. It was time. I was able to sober up through meetings by confiding in other addicts. By sharing and talking to others I was and still am able to maintain my sobriety. By helping others get clean I was and am able able to keep this gift of recovery. Staying connected is key for me. It really is one day at a time.
I now work in the field of addiction and it keeps me at ground zero every-day. I facilitate groups and I’m able to spread my message and experience with others. I also play in an awesome rock band with bandmates that are all sober. We’re able to rock out and show people that you can still have an awesome time and be sober. I also started to work out and get rid of my sedentary lifestyle, introducing some meditation as well.
But the greatest gift of sobriety has come from the man upstairs. I have always wanted children, especially a son, and I never thought in my life I would ever have that chance. Well God has given me that blessing. I now have a son who I named after my buddy who died in that car accident. My son is almost 5 months old and he is the greatest gift in the world.
Good things happen when you stay clean and get to look in the mirror and take accountability. I always say in my groups that God has so many blessings for everyone that he wants to just drop out of the sky. But when we are running around acting out of control and drinking and drugging, he is like – I want to give you this but I’m gonna wait cause you’re just not ready yet.
And then when you do turn your life around all of these incredible blessings start falling from the sky. I like where I am at now. I am happy with myself and I would not want to trade it for any fake drug feeling in the world. The Alliance members sharing their stories gave me the confidence to share mine with all of you. Dive into recovery, or dive back into a life of misery. #SameHere .”