9/23/21: Loneliness is About How Our Minds Perceive Things

If there’s a term that’s come up most frequently over the past year & a half, as individuals have opened up to me, it’s: Lonely.

This frightens me, saddens me, is relatable, & also makes sense, given what we’ve all lived through recently.

On the one hand, we might say – but we ALL have been thru the exact same trauma – the entire world. Shouldn’t that bind us together in our common struggle. For many other events, like w 9/11, it has done just that, for most.

But the reason I wrote this tweet card the way I did, is bc that loneliness being felt by so many is NOT a product of who is physically surrounding us…& it’s not a product of who’s been thru “what” we have been through. It’s instead how our minds perceive things.

If you take the events of what’s happened over the past year & a half…it’s not only been the obvious we’ve faced w a virus. It’s been social justice events. It’s been election outcomes. It’s been decisions about personal health…whether to take something/not…whether preventative measures work/not…whether to let ppl in our lives in our houses/not…whether to go out for dinner with friends/not.

EACH of these decisions – they’ve been on full display. It’s very hard to hide how we feel about issues. Why? Bc we’re asked by others to do things: to see each other, to come over, to go to a game or a concert or dinner…to attend a rally.

And in ALL those things, in which it’s so hard to hide your opinions – because your responses/actions are all a “tell”…is there a single person in your friends/close fam group, you’re in agreement on ALL of these major decisions/opinions/issues with?

Add to that, that many of us either live alone..or…we live w a fam – where we aren’t getting to SEE others, often…& where opinions on those very topics mentioned above, we don’t see eye-to-eye on, with all our fam.

I’ll throw in yet another factor. Social media confirms our biases. We share those SM clips with others we ARE close with, who we don’t agree with, & this just furthers our divides – “I told you so.”

It’s a very lonely time…wanted you to know I feel you, & I’m experiencing the same. But if we talk about our loneliness openly, we feel less alone.

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