How We Can Share Not Just Pain, But Positivity

The 1st time I heard anything close to the upper half of this quote – it came from my friend @kevinhinesstory. If you don’t know his story, it’s incredible: surviving a jump off the Golden Gate Bridge in the early 2000s, & has gone on to help so many thru the power of sharing & vulnerability.

He’s big on sharing bc he believes (& I’ll back him on this), that when you share your pain w another, the pain is halved. Maybe not in the literal sense of exactly 50/50. But here’s the point (& yes Kevin knows he personally didn’t come up w this quote ;)), but when we’re hurting, when we share our pain w other empathetic humans, they create space for us, open up a piece of themselves, & “take on” some of what we’re feeling.

Obv the person you’re talking w needs to have the bandwidth to take on more, themselves, but when they do, it’s extremely cathartic & helpful, that someone can help hold some of that pain. Think abt why ppl post abt loss of loved ones on something as distant as SM. The – “I’m thinking abt you/your fam” may seem cliche, but they’re meant as a gesture of comfort; that I’m feeling this w you, & let me take some of it from you.

In person can be even more powerful: funerals, wakes, shivas…all examples abt how humans can be there for one another, hug one another, & attempt to lessen the pain.

So then I started thinking…while the above is true, here’s what’s also true…& it’s beautiful in a way how it does almost the OPPOSITE of what’s above: when we share our POSITIVE feelings & emotions, instead of “halving” them, we see them multiply.

Isn’t that a beautiful juxtaposition? Both involve sharing feelings. When it’s pain, we “half” it bc we create space & take on some of it for others. But when they’re positive feelings – others share w their friends/fam…there’s celebration, we don’t need to “hold space” for it. Instead we can project it out & even see its grow exponentially – where 2 tell 4, tell 8. 

We’re typically more open to sharing the positive. I get that. It’s less private. Takes less vulnerability. But if we become more open to sharing the challenges, we can all hold space for each other!

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