Why do best friends who become roommates often have a falling out, & end up no longer even acquaintances after a yr’s lease is up?
Why do business partners work seamlessly together for over a decade, only to break up their business & dissolve over a difference in a single philosophy?
Why do siblings get along, & even deeply love one another throughout childhood, only to become estranged & never talk again?
We hear the phrase: “Familiarity Breeds Contempt”…& there’s certainly truth to that statement. Even in “relationships” where you’re getting along so famously at the beginning & you think wow – it’s like I’ve known this person my whole life, things often eventually hit an inflection point. But why?
Humans are complex beings. We’re strong-minded & have opinions abt anything & everything. No matter how “in-sync” we feel w another person, wouldn’t it be natural over the course of time, that there’d be topics we don’t agree w each other on? Even our closest friends & fam? The more familiar we are w someone, the more warts are revealed…& they’re warts that they don’t believe they have!!
So what does that familiarity really reveal? Here’s the thing – bc we have so many opinions & so many decisions to make OFF of those opinions, an inflection point or points in every relationship are going to come. But what happens when they come? Do you both talk it out & agree to disagree, but move on knowing you still love one another? Or, do one or both of you double down? Do you continue to point fingers? Or maybe worse – do you give the silent treatment & just say “F it” they’re wrong & I’m right & I don’t need to explain.
Building off the last post: familiarly reveals CHARACTER. Conflicts are a part of relationships. But I choose to remain close to those who have character, want to talk it out, want to hug it out & move on…not dig in & double down, or flee. Those are the people & relationships worth fighting for. The others just take you down & continuously mess w your head space.
We are living through a time where talking about unification is less popular and more risky than talking about divison