What I’ve Learned in 40 Years

Bitter sweet-ish, that the day’s come to turn 40.  Sweet bc there’ve been many great times to reflect on. Bitter bc getting “older,” especially a milestone bday, can be a reminder of time passing way faster than we’d like.


Some friends recently posted their “40 for 40” lists – 40 of the most impt things they’ve learned abt life over their 40 yrs. I’d like to do that in the days to come, but for today, since bdays have been hard for me, I thought it’d be more appropriate to talk abt what I’ve learned abt bdays & what I can share.


I don’t remember most any presents I’ve received. I don’t remember ppl who had conflicts & couldn’t make it for a day.  What I remember is the love, care, & gestures from fam & friends thru the yrs.


It starts w my parents waking up in the middle of the night to decorate my room w balloons & streamers so I’d be surprised when I woke (u can see them in the bottom left). I remember my grandmother requiring that “Matthew,” my middle name, be written on every bday cake bc that name was given to me from her father (top pic). I remember the unconditional love from my parents & brothers, grandparents, aunts & uncles.


For those from LI (maybe this will jog some of the feels), I remember all the places that our fams worked hard to throw parties at for us/friends: The Ice Cream Barrel, Olympia Gymnastics, Violetta’s Pizza, Hot Skates, Our Place, Games People Play, & Shep Messing’s.


As you get older (& I mean: teens & 20’s 😂), bdays are no longer “cool.” College bdays where only alcohol & music selection mattered, a 30th when again a milestone brought busy ppl together for cause, & a 40th when you reflect maybe a little more than party, & everyone’s home by midnight.


Then finally, pics w my nieces at various bdays, many yrs, where I realize being surrounded by the ppl you love is what’s most impt on these days. Hope to have some fun pics to share from a fam dinner tonight.  Much love to those not here w me: poppies Lou & Ben, Grandma Bea, aunts & uncles. Love to all.

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