07/15/2022 Don’t Rely On Outside Validation

The ideas for these posts most often come from lived experiences that just happened to pop into my life at various times & scream at me – “here’s something you need to pay attn to!”

In Stories over the past 24 hrs, I’ve shared a number of pics/videos from my niece Bailey’s 3rd birthday. My sister-in-law’s father was there – a great guy named Jack, who always has something interesting to talk abt & I enjoy conversing w.

Jack was an electrician his whole career. He’s still Mr. Fix It. And he knows the line of work I’m now in, & so he brought up to me an old friend of his who he’s surprised is currently dealing w major depression.

He said this friend made it big on various investments. Very diff lifestyle than we’re used to: collection of cars from Lamborghini’s to Ferrari’s…over 50 of them!! Then after his car collection, got into real estate & apparently made it big again, buying houses in S. Carolina, Tennessee, Florida – all before the p@ndemlc & so was able to flip them for a lot of $. Made a fortune. But again he’s depressed, doesn’t leave his big house…& hasn’t driven his nice cars.

It reminded me of our friend @rwalk56 from the NFL, who told us on our podcast, he wasn’t happy as a kid bc of abuse he experienced…& thought making it to the League would be the “summit.” Would make him happy. Until he achieved that “dream” & still wasn’t happy/at peace.

Also reminded me of our friend @jasonshapiro75 who this wk published his 5th book: “A Social Illusion,” abt how we try to compare our lives to others online, & it leads us nowhere but unhappiness. 

We don’t get happiness or contentment from: 1) accumulating more stuff, 2) getting validation from others that we have nice stuff. When that’s the barometer there is always something NEW to chase (like Jack’s friend w the houses being his next pursuit), & we never reach an actual summit. Happiness comes w being at peace in our own minds/bodies. That takes healing work – but it’s work that’s way more valuable than anything we can ever buy or own. 

Spending your time working on you is a way better investment than working on reaching the next goal or getting the next toy. 

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