A lot of talk in recent posts abt how things happen TO us. Whether we like it or not, much of what & who we are, as we become adults, is a product of what we’ve been exposed to in our lives.
Some of the traits/characteristics we celebrate…some we gotta work on…most can be traced back to ppl who’ve influenced us & events & experiences we’ve lived through.
That’s not an excuse for us to just accept things & “just be” a certain way. Instead, it’s directional. The more we learn abt our pasts, the more we can do to work on ourselves, untangle our “stuff” – & be the healthiest versions of ourselves, we can be.
As adults, are we required to work on ourselves…to be self-reflective, see where we are “at” & to make best efforts to bring abt positive change?
Not sure there’s a right answer to that, tho – I’m sure there are a lot of diff opinions on what responsibilities, if any, we have to be our best versions of ourselves.
However, one thing I do feel strongly abt is that as adults, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, it sometimes is best to just walk away – even if it’s hard.
Why? Whether it’s a close or distant fam member, a friend, a coworker, a neighbor…there are many of us who want, more than anything, to have positive relationships w the ppl already in our lives.
However…there are 2 ppl in every relationship. If someone’s bringing their “stuff” to the relationship, that’s expected. But, if you’re struggling for your relationship w them to be a positive one, & they, as an adult, refuse to work on themselves, sometimes it’s just best to walk away.
Have heard from some of you recently on strained relationships – marriages, friendships, fam, etc. We all have our backpacks of stuff we carry, & no one is perfect.
To the question above, maybe no one should be expected as adults to HAVE to work on their stuff. But, being on the other side of that relationship, if you’re trying to hold it together w someone who doesn’t acknowledge how their past has affected them, doesn’t work to heal, & that ends up hurting your ability to have a healthy relationship w them – once again, sometimes it’s best to walk away.