I thought of this line bc I’d been having a really good run lately…w health & happiness.
Got to do some out of country travel…began filming our docuseries w some incredibly inspiring ppl…been doing presentations in the corporate world w new partners…have been seeing our app adoption growing…even been able to hit the 12k steps/day mark for a month straight after I got my sleeping patterns to a better place. All good stuff, right?
Then I get a text late Friday that my friend traveled w his brothers, to his dad’s hospital bedside, as he’d suffered a major heart attack. He’d survived the first few of surgeries, but they weren’t sure what the future held.
Then much later that nt, the note you never want to get (an email from my friend’s brother), that their father – his name written out in the subject line, had passed away, & that the funeral would be today, Sunday.
I’ve shared here how emotions have been hard for me, since my crash. Not feeling the high highs, or the low lows. This wasn’t the case on Friday nt. Hearing your good buddy lose his dad so suddenly – your heart cries for him & his fam. You see his dad’s full name written out like that & you can’t believe he’s gone. It makes you anticipate the funeral & the pain you’re gonna see in so many faces. The tears, anguish & sorrow.
It also makes you think abt your relationship w your own parents…your own fam…even your own mortality. When it hits home like that bc it’s so sudden, it spins you.
And I shared the positive things above, bc of the juxtaposition of them to this type of low. One I’m getting healthy enuf to start feeling again & grieving. So, yesterday my brain was a mess…all the positive stuff going on…& this one event w my friend & – I couldn’t think straight. Felt numb. Had trouble sleeping. Didn’t want to get to the gym…or even get off the couch.
These were all the signs in the past of: a major crash abt to come. But the diff now is, I’ve learned my patterns. I know a bad stretch doesn’t mean permanently bad. My mind doesn’t spin there. I let the pain/dysfunction just be. WE can heal & learn bad stretches happen, but don’t have to last.