8/23/21: The Suicide Narrative That Sadly Hasn’t Changed

Got the awful news from my HS friends group Saturday morn, that one of our classmates had tragically passed. In his early 40s, gone – of all things: heart attack.

I didn’t want to question it. After all I’d lost 3 close friends to undiagnosed/mistreated heart conditions at younger ages.

This particular HS classmate (I’m purposely being vague abt), was the life of the party growing up.

He was the “WhassUp” guy, before Bud Light made that line famous. He was known for bursting into rooms, making his presence felt.

Not the best athlete, he worked his tail off bc he had heart, & cared. We won a rec bball championship together, & while he was never the most agile, he tried harder than most anyone on the court – a team guy.

His smile was infectious. Could light up a room. He had his “clique”…but everyone was his friend. A guy whose heart you felt bursting from his chest. In recent yrs on SM – tons of pics of him hugging/smiling/enjoying his little nephews.

And despite all the above, life’s hard, & there were challenges more recently. He’d married a beautiful girl from our HS & unfortunately that relationship ended in divorce. He’d fallen on hard times, & had to openly ask friends for financial help on SM. He’d gone a while searching for job, sadly unsuccessfully.

I ran into him a few yrs ago at a subway stop. His eyes were sunken…he looked tired…but he still flashed that awesome/bright smile from when we were kids.

Later this Saturday, rumors began surfacing that his passing was something other than heart-related. Again not going into specifics, but it was pretty well known he’d battled w addiction – the ugly cousin of MH.

I share the above bc I still don’t know the full story/won’t speculate. But do the details matter? Lost to a heart attack or MH-related, the SECOND we hear it “may’ve” been the latter, everything’s a secret.

It destroys me bc – we don’t CHOOSE the pain life throws us…& SO many of those deaths are NOT a person’s choice. My heart breaks thinking what may’ve been overtaking his mind at the end.

This case or others, if we don’t talk openly abt this topic – this cycle NEVER ends.

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