In Nov of 2017 we hosted a launch event. NHL Great, Theo Fleury & I were being interviewed by CBS’s Marla Diamond, & were asked the boilerplate question that always gets asked in this space: “With 1 in 5 ppl suffering w mental illness…are you hoping to make the world aware of how common this is?”
Theo & I turned to each other instinctively, unrehearsed, & said – “It’s not 1 in 5, it’s 5 in 5.” To clarify, we didn’t say it’s 5 in 5 who have – the term that’s been bastardized by our society, “mental illness.” But it’s 5 in 5 who face life challenges that negatively impact their MH. Like physical health – things that impact optimal function.
To Theo’s credit, he was using the term: Trauma, before it was popularized. On my end, not understanding trauma at the time, the word sounded heavy – so I just called it “our stuff.” When I’d shared my story on public platforms, at a time in 2017, when it was taboo – let alone for a sports exec who may want to go back, what happened was – the folks who called me to talk (I’d shared my personal #) none mentioned a disorder label. They ALL related to my “stuff” I’d been thru as a child…& the corresponding stuff they’d been thru in their life.
Their age didn’t matter, gender, WHEN “it” had happened to them, nor the level of the dysfunction/severity. All that mattered to them was that I understood emotional pain…they were feeling it…& on those calls, they felt the SAME as me – despite any other differences.
In a world that’s become increasingly divided – to the pt where you get penalized on these channels for talking abt commonality, there’s great irony in sharing this. But why share today?
Getting personal: last nt I was at my parents, who are taking care of my 101yr old grandma. It’s beautiful she’s lived this long. And at the same time, to watch how (trying to be respectful) her brain/body has broken down – is horrific/scary. Last nt it made me think: if you lose someone young – trauma. Someone older but in good health – unexpected trauma. Even someone who lives this long: watching the breakdown is TRAUMA. It’s literally UNAVOIDABLE. But if we talk/share we don’t feel alone in it.
