Got the awful news on Monday that one of the women who was like an office mother figure to me & so many of my teammates/colleagues in my first job at the NBA, Randy Hersh, had passed away, all too young, from cancer. 3 kids all arnd college-age, a husband w a thriving career in sports, just gone.
Randy was a trailblazer – a female leader in the sports industry before many women were getting that opportunity. She was like Mamma Bear to so many of us. Even after we’d all leave the league office & go on our diff paths in & out of sports (pic of our group on slides…you’ll see her standing on the left, blonde hair, so proud of her “kids”) she would stay in touch…would drop lines on social media…always wanted to know how we were doing. Rooted us on. We loved her.
I wrote a tribute to her (slides➡️) part of which will be included in an article in a sports biz publication…bc she deserves it. But also…bc my own grieving process needed it.
I called a close friend last nt & told them: I’m upset w myself that I feel more numb than anything rt now. Randy didn’t tell anyone she was sick. So the loss came as a shock. My friend snapped back at me (lovingly) – “Your nervous system is ALLOWING you to grieve/survive best it can right now. Give yourself grace.”
Intuitively I know this. But I still beat myself up over what I can/can’t feel at loss. That then sends my system into a worse sympathetic response spiral. It made me think of our “LIFE Saver Families” – this next share for 5/3: the fam of McKenna Brown, ice hockey goalie from Tampa, lost to suicide at 16➡️.
I’ve become close w them. They & others in this group have shared how hard the grieving process is when you tragically lose a child so young. I’ll share their link in Stories. But please, let’s all learn to give ourselves grace. There is no right way to grieve. We don’t get to choose. Our nervous system is quite smart. Allow yourself to let “it” come to you.
