5/27/21: Standing Alone Doesn’t Mean You Are Actually Alone

I remember when I was younger, I never wanted to do things on my own. Shoot hoops in the backyard? Nope, it’s only fun w friends & being able to compete against each other. Go to the gym? Only if someone was there to hit the weights w me. Drive to the mall to pick something up? Nah, that felt weird, alone.

Even in college, I remember a friend giving me a hard time: I wanted him to go to “Helen Newman Hall” w me to get in a gym session…& his response was: “What are we going to hold hands on the treadmill as we run?” I don’t know…there was always something abt doing things WITH others, that made me more comfortable.

Then adulthood hit. After making ends meet living 4 guys in a small apt in NYC to cover rent, I chose to go to Chicago for my first experience out of NY. Living on my own. Not knowing anyone in an unfamiliar city. Then it was Phoenix/Scottsdale….then it was Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. Along the way, I had to get used to doing things on my own. And eventually I ended up appreciating it.

While in Phx, I remember reaching out to friends from college (spanning 4 yrs of classmates: my freshman yr guys on thru the Seniors we got to know). I wanted to put together a reunion over Thanksgiving when I’d be back in NY. Though these guys all loved each other when on the same campus, it was like pulling teeth to get commitments. But we did it…& we had an incredible night of catch up. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to be there…it was that “things” were holding them back from standing up & saying on the thread, “I’m in, let’s do this.”

So…a few days ago, I put up a post abt how individuals/groups in the MH space – who’ve talked loudly on social- opposing hate of any kind, were silent over the recent run of antisemitism in the country. This was despite ppl here, being many thousands of miles away from any conflicts disagreed w overseas.

I shared in Stories last nt, that we’ll usually get a 2:1 ration of post “”shares” to post “saves.” Say it’s 120:70ish on a solid post. Well for that post abt condemning antisemitism, I saw something I’ve never seen: a high # of saves, but ZERO shares. Not one.

This was the case, despite MANY of them/you sending me articles, through DM, abt hate being spewed. It clearly upset you too. The problem is – much like my friends w the reunion, there is/were “things” holding you back. My friends WANTED to go to the reunion…but other factors (fam commitments, social awkwardness after all this time, work deadlines, seeing a friend they’d fallen out w) stopped them from standing up & saying, “I’m in.” I bring this up bc – STANDING alone doesn’t mean you ARE alone. If you believe something deeply in your heart, & it comes from a good place, chances are MANY others feel like you do. They just have those other factors holding them back from standing up (in the case of being against hate – fear of being canceled, what their friends might say, etc.). Bottom line, if you feel strongly abt something, don’t be afraid to stand “alone.” If it comes from the heart, you’re prob not alone at all!

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