Though it feels more rewarding & therapeutic to think of/write my own stuff here on this page, there’s no question that I’ll come across quotes (even on street signs), every so often, that just “fit” my life at that moment.
This is one case – a great line from F. Scott Fitzgerald, I read late last night of all places, after I cracked open a fortune cookie!
I’ve shared this before, but when I was in the hospital, the attending psychiatrist looked at my chart, looked at me, & said: “Eric, you’ve tried everything…your ‘last resort’ is to do shock therapy.”
This doc, looking back, confused my recent treatment defeats, as coming up on a potentially final defeat, if this didn’t work. That single line she shared w me, has been one of the greatest motivations of the past 3 yrs of this build – to never want a patient to ever have to hear those words again.
So, why’s it applicable to today…why did it grab me other than the fortune cookie it was in, being delicious? I’ve shared pretty openly that the last 3 or so weeks have been tough. Been in a lull of mood & motivation w/o fully knowing why.
Being the tester for the SameHere Scale App before we launch next month, I’ve looked back at my activity chart & noticed that my “feeling trends” have been pretty consistently in a not so good spot.
3 weeks for me has been the cut off pt in the past. Usually by (or before then), w a dip in motivation/mood, I stick to my exercises & I’m able to pull out of it. Hasn’t happened yet tho.
And so, this quote was the reminder I needed: don’t confuse this “defeat” of not being able to pop out of it on my typical timeline, w a “final defeat.” Our brains can take us to some dark places when we haven’t been able to get back on track as we have in the past – thinking this is the longest it’s ever been. If you’re there right now, know I’m w you. It’s not a final defeat…it’s just one more day that we can fight to actually earn the next victory!