Was reflecting yesterday about how much loss I’ve seen shared over the last few weeks here on social channels. Some of it from families of public figures like Franco Harris…but most of it from everyday folks like those of us on here, just opening up.
Lots of schools of thought on this I’m sure…one being “it’s a festive time, so shouldn’t we be focused solely on celebration?”. Would be nice if that was how life worked, but it doesn’t.
I think we went through an era for a number of years on socials where at first, it was all about putting out the glamour shots around the holidays. Then that got called out for what it is/was. May still happen, but there’s more of an awareness as to that not being reality – and to be aware of the comparisons.
Then we went through an era where memes helped us realize there were a lot of folks out there struggling through these festive times. I shared in the last post that you see the memes everywhere now: “holding space for people who _____________”.
Those memes were a good placeholder, to open up eyes to some of the struggles that exist…but like many things on social…it became a little cliche and overused. Still a helpful tool, but not the “authentic” stuff.
I’m encouraged because – I think we’re seeing a movement towards more authentic sharing on these channels. People yes, love being around family, love seeing the joy in kids eyes…but they also miss people they’ve lost (some very recently), miss relationships, miss traditions no longer held for various reasons.
I think what this authenticity is showing is – there is no “perfection”, and amidst the joy on these holidays there’s a lot of pain and a lot of loss…and perhaps most notably, it doesn’t have to be one OR the other.
Life’s messy. But the more we share the more we realize that not only are we not alone, but we’re just like so many others. I’ve met so many wonderful people and families on here because you’ve shared your losses with me.
Take comfort in knowing that there’s no happiness threshold you HAVE to reach. And in some of the pain and loss, comes some of the gain of wonderful people you meet.
As much as you can enjoy: Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah to all who celebrate.
