In the middle of Hanukkah and with Christmas Eve approaching, figured a little holiday perspective would be helpful.
This is the time of year we give out a lot of gifts/presents. It’s so enjoyable to see the sparkle in kids’ eyes when they open up the wrapping paper for something as simple as a car or a doll and it’s like the world’s standing still for them as they burst with joy.
Often after childhood, presents are nice, but tangible presents we can hold/touch/feel become less important than other more meaningful presents we can receive.
A lot of memes started to go around a number of years ago during this holiday time: “Holding space for ________”. They list many of the things people might be going through around the holidays, that make this tie of year more difficult than just simply being able to be festive.
Two of the big ones I hear about often – and pieces of which I experience myself – are estrangement and grief/loss.
Go back to being a kid: it feels like “everyone” is there in the room opening the gifts with you – most of your grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins. You feel surrounded – and you don’t notice the loss that the adults in the room may be feeling.
Then you get older and your perspective changes because you become more aware of the world – who you used to be with, and who is no longer there.
Holidays can be and often are still great for many – with the caveat that they come with other mixed emotions. Feelings of emptiness, missing those that we’ve lost. Feelings of isolation because of those we no longer talk to – even if they’re in the same room.
It’s why the greatest gift you can give someone this time of year is just to check in and ask: “how are you?”, but do it with genuine care and open ears and heart. We live in our heads – and having an outlet knowing others care is so important.
On instagram you will see in slide two of this topic, S2, E3 of We’re All A Little “Crazy” podcast we spoke with a number of Grant Wahl’s (the reporter lost at the World Cup at only 49) friends and colleagues about grief and loss – in this specific case, and generally this time of year. We also had Dr Holly MacKenna on to talk about processing grief. A topic so many are facing this tie of year. The link is in our instagram stories.