1/28/2021: Losses On Top Of Losses

I have a friend whose child is struggling bc they were so excited to start their new school this yr, meet new friends, have new experiences, then “this” thing hit us. 
My friend was looking for advice. And all I could think of was – this is a loss. It’s grief. It’s seeing something (like a future w a special person or fam member), & then having it taken away.  It’s happened in so many areas of life- kids playing sports, or band, or drama…entrepreneurs starting brick & mortar businesses…couples having set a wedding date. All that could not happen/has not happened: they’re like grief-filled losses.
But outside of this crazy period we’ve all been living thru, when we typically deal w grief & loss: of friends, loved ones, jobs, relationships, etc., we have many options for other things we love, to help us cope w what’s been taken away.
My dad doesn’t talk much abt the loss of his father to a heart attack many yrs ago (I was only 2 at the time & he died a day after my bday)…but one of the stories he’s shared that’s always stuck w me has been – that his friends brought him to a movie. They saw he was down & they said – we’re getting you out. This isn’t going to go away, but hanging out & seeing a movie w us will be therapeutic. It will begin the process of healing & moving forward in a positive way.
Well guess what makes this current situation so uniquely difficult? We’ve LOST so many of the things we love, that help us deal w the major losses. Can you attend many/any sporting events right now? Any plays? Any movies? Go to dinner w friends? Hang out inside at a house & sing or dance/have mindless fun? Unfortunately the answer is no.
We aren’t only dealing w major grief-filled losses like my friend’s child.  We’re dealing w the loss of so much else that we typically use to help cushion our grief. 
Please know you’re not alone. Please know whatever you feel now is “normal.” Please know we can talk abt these things – & that we NEED to talk abt these things especially w our kids. We’re going through this all, together.  And, we’ll thrive after this bc of the perspective we’ve gained, together. 

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