Yea, September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month…& I thought it was important to dive into the nuance of this topic of “choice” (or not), when discussing suicidality.
Why? Bc when it’s implied that suicide is ALWAYS a choice – the topic comes w so much shame, that it makes it less likely that those down the road who are suffering, will ask for help.
Some of the messages I am not a fan of in the suicide prevention space…tho we’ll see them aplenty in this month, are:
– “I’d rather hear your story than go to your funeral” – implying that someone is choosing not to talk to you & instead “take their life.” This leads to the second phrase:
– “Take their life” — used often in: “It’s so sad that things were so bad that they took their own life.” You couldn’t possibly imply choice more greatly than using that phrase.
– “Killed themselves” or the long standing one we have been working so hard to move away from “committed suicide.” The implication again of choice & committing a crime in doing so.
– “There are better ways to SOLVE your pain.” Wow…hopefully you can see the issue here.
– “It’s a permanent SOLUTION to a temporary problem.” Ok, so now we are saying someone is solving something, always, thru this act.
These ALL need to go away.
Plaque builds in our arteries over time. Sugar builds in our blood stream over time. Problematic cells replicate in our bodies over time. We then say – heart disease, diabetes, & cancer happen TO us, w/o choice…even tho the lifestyles we live & foods we CHOOSE to eat, are factors in those outcomes.
Well – stress & trauma build silently in our CNS. Challenging life events happen TO us. This can lead to dysregulated nervous systems where self-harm messages happen TO us. Like magnetic pulls. That’s not shameful – it’s health…& many (dare I say most ppl) don’t want to die. Impulses error messages form. Suicide happens TO them.
But we don’t teach this & give a heads up what to look out for (first person signs). Only in “others.” It’s time we part w the shame & belief that this is mostly a choice. LIFE Saver tool on next page ➡️. Need eduction & positive plans.