I remember being in 2nd grade, & me & another student Matt, in Mrs. Foreman’s class, were often the ones who’d “get in trouble” by having our desks moved rt next to hers, facing the rest of the students. It was a way to control our behavior: talking too much…by singling us out & having the rest of our classmates stare at us.
The msg was loud & clear: you 2 are the damaged ones who cause a ruckus in my class & the only way you’re gonna be allowed to sit w the rest of your classmates is if you fix the behavior on your own. As a kid you don’t realize why you’re talking more than others, you just think – if I’m getting in trouble, there’s something wrong w me.
Things didn’t get better in 3rd grade, as Ms. Norton moved me to my own desk – a large table – in the WAY back of the room, away from my friends, so that again I felt like I was on an island.
It wasn’t till I went into 4th grade – Mrs Scheffler, that things improved. She told me I’d passed the tests back in 1st grade, to get into the advanced program “Apex”- where you got to study cool things 2x a wk outside of your main classroom, but that I hadn’t been approved for it bc I hadn’t gotten the needed teacher recommendation on top of my test scores. She told me – if I worked WITH her, she’d help me get in. That was the best behaved I’d been in elementary school. Ironically Mrs Scheffler was “old school.” But she understood human dynamics: work WITH someone towards a goal, & they’re more likely to improve.
I didn’t understand MH or behavioral dynamics back then. I was likely talking so much bc my brother was in/out of hospitals, losing his hair to chemo, & I needed something to distract myself from being in my own head abt it. One set of teachers punished me for it. Another worked w me.
In MH we HAVE the tools to help students down regulate. We call them STARR – To calm their sympathetic response of their systems. But for so long we’ve been told to punish behavior…not find out what’s behind it & work WITH to help soothe.
Props to 2 schools (pics ➡️who’ve gone on that path this wk). There’s a better way than punitive damages to change behavior. Let’s work WITH.