Shared this 1st slide in Stories after having a convo w one of my girl friends, abt a messy relationship she’s been in for yrs. Then, the DMs I got…I realized this was too impt not to dive deeper. So, made a set of slides ➡️from all I’ve personally learned from this topic (clearly not a clinician but hoping to share in a relatable way).
After posting last nt, yet another girl friend reached out w an “OMG, that’s what I’m dealing w rt now.”
This is all too common. And…Same Here.
I had to be careful w the explanation bc I don’t want to be talking out of both sides of my mouth. The term narcissist is a label, just like other labels that separate us. But a label is not a disease. It’s not something you can find in the body w a test. It’s a cluster of symptoms related to factors like: past experiences, lifestyle, underlying genetics, etc.
Those we refer to as narcissists have an inner emptiness, pain, & often abandonment issues that run deep from earlier in life. In a way as much as you want to hate folks who act w what’s described in the slides – it’s actually very sad. That inner emptiness & pain results in them viewing events, relationships, etc in their lives in a very diff way than what’s reality. If you’ve had a fam member, friend, or been in a relationship w someone like this, they lure you in – they appear outwardly confident, charismatic, outgoing, even fun, & often then leave YOU, where as you get closer – they fear you’ll “leave” in some way (a wound from their past), so they convince themselves (w no evidence) you’re the “bad” person. But – they actually BELIEVE it.
Bc of that, they can literally go from full-on love of you, to “you’re an awful person” or “you’re not for me,” overnight. You’ll hear things like: “when I shut down…I shut down, & what you DID to me, made me…”
Theo & I’ve discussed it bc we’ve both dated ppl where this has happened – & you’re left like you were flung from a tornado, thinking – how in the __ did that just happen?
Im sorry if you’ve been in relationships like this. Wish those folks well…to heal (truly), & be happy you’re not caught in the vortex anymore.