Why Ghosting Is A Form Of Emotional Abuse

After a convo  w a friend last night, I looked back at an old post: 1/6/19.  Shared something I referred to as the “Mental Health 80/20 Rule.” If you look, it’s still up there. Essentially the premise was, to make us all feel ‘sane’ that we weren’t alone, on avg, when someone’s answer for us is “no,” – whether it’s related to biz or personal endeavors, 80% will just ghost, 20% will actually have the courtesy to respond, tell you no, & give even the slightest explanation why.


In this particular case yesterday, my friend was telling me abt a guy she’d gone out w, a great 1st date (so she thought), a meet up the NEXT day to grab brunch, & then when she didn’t hear from him the following day, she texted to ask how the rest of his wknd was, & he never replied. 


Maybe it’s me & I’m protective of my friends. Maybe it’s me & if something like that is done to me in biz or personal life, it drives me a little batty…but nonetheless I wanted to discuss bc even if it’s just been thru a work-related venture, we’ve all been ghosted one or multiple times.


Let’s give the benefit of the doubt to the ghoster. Let’s assume what we “have” just isn’t a good fit for them.  The product or service you’re selling wasn’t right for them…you as a potential partner they didn’t feel a true spark/connection w. Ok that’s established – we’re saying that no one maliciously is saying no to “just because.” 

Let’s also give the benefit of the doubt that the ghoster doesn’t understand how their ghosting may hurt future biz, future dating relationships – as this is a small world, & cross over into “referrals” are common. 


Ok so then given those 2 above being taken out of the equation, the question is, why would someone ghost, instead of doing the decent/human thing, & stand up & deliver a ‘no’ so that you know to move on, & dare we ask, even somewhat of an explanation of their ‘no’?

Obv I can’t say in ALL cases, but I’ll venture to guess in MOST cases, the lack of a formal reply, has more to do w them, & their emptiness/avoidance of their own shortcomings, than it does w you. Ppl project OUT what they feel inside. Something to consider.

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