Today’s #SameHereHero: Nestor Velez (We’ve shared stories of sexual abuse at a young age that lead to overwhelming amounts of trauma. But, we haven’t yet touched on stories related to being the target of verbal abuse as a child, especially when that abuse is coming from someone who lives under the same roof as us and is supposed to be in our corner, unconditionally, helping to nurture our self-worth. Thanks to Nestor for openly sharing your story.)
“Growing up I was the target of constant and intense verbal abuse at the hands of my mother. I think she took things out on me because of how others in her life had taken things out on her. She showered me w material gifts, but I believe this was actually her way of trying to make up for the nasty things she would say to me…as if the gifts made all the negative remarks OK. She continues to treat me the same way. However, now I know how to better manage the relationship, create barriers and leave her house or a conversation when I feel like it’s getting abusive.
Verbal abuse as you are growing up and forming your own self-worth is probably one of the worst forms of abuse one can experience. Hearing nothing but negative words about you from your mother is painful, and these words stay embedded in your mind. This negativity and the questions the comments bring up about yourself breed depression, anxiety, anger, fear, exhaustion, PTSD, etc. I can go on and on, but I think you get the unfortunate point. These negative feelings and complications led to my own suicidal ideations, and attempts.
I decided it was time to look for help after my second attempted suicide. I knew I HAD to make a change in my life if I was going to survive this and live a healthy life.
When I started to seek help 10 years ago, it was through a therapist I had found on YouTube, with tons of videos speaking about healing from your depression and anxiety. She saved my life even though I was learning to heal through videos! Because this helped me so much, I decided to pay it forward and build “sanomind.” It’s a free app with audio content on all different types of mental health complications. I work with therapists and offer them a platform to contribute audio content, which helps sufferers learn, but also showcases the therapists practices.
I see it as a self-help tool for ppl to get some important education on what exactly you are going through – advice and help. Many of us are so lost and don’t know where to turn when our symptoms are severe, and I want to help. I look forward to continuing to speak with Eric about how our app may be featured on weareallalittlecrazy.org upon their formal launch.
Today I do A LOT of meditation! I literally meditate at least once EVERY DAY, and many days, 2x per day. When I opened up about my story to friends and other family members, I think they respected me for sharing with them. What was more surprising to me, however, were the number of people who messaged me personally to say that they have gone through almost the exact same thing. #samehere, and I guess there are a lot more of us with these stories out there than we realize.”