I had to learn to rewire my brain through cognitive behavioral therapy.
I hope my 10 suggestions here will help you if you’re having similar thoughts.
1. Express Yourself: Do not keep your thoughts inside. Tell the people who you know and love how you feel. Say you feel sad. Say you feel confused. Say you feel unsure. And support others. Proactively ask them how they feel. Negative thoughts that circulate in our heads, with no outlet, cause negative outcomes — in our brains and bodies. Let it out!
2. Work Harder to Communicate: For our entire lives, we have been out in person, talking to others. It’s easy, now that so many of us have been confined to our homes, to shut down. Reaching out through text, FaceTime and Zoom requires more work. Do the work. Make sure you tell people you love them and what they mean to you. People need to know, now more than ever, how much you mean to them. Tell them they are important to your life and what they add. Talk about your favorite times together and share the best memories.
3. Redefine Yourself: Many of us define ourselves by our jobs. It might give us purpose and financial stability, but it is not who we are. If you define yourself by your job, work to create a new definition of your life that includes much more. The things we can’t put titles on and can’t measure, those are the things that truly define us.
4. Pick Time to Withdraw: As someone who racks up 12 hours of screen time per day in non-pandemic times, this is not done easily, but a break in routine is good. We often convince ourselves that routine helps us stay stable, but I’ve found that I’ve been able to withdraw at times more than ever — and it does lead to peace over anxiety. It’s like a power-washing of our brains, and allows us to shut down the parts that are always “on.”
5. Set Aside Moments for Self-Care: Whether it’s an app like Headspace or simply putting down the phone to practice deep breathing, don’t let everything build up. Create breaks in the day to reset. We call them “STARR” Practices with #SameHere. That stands for Stress & Trauma, Active Release & Rewiring. Here are some practices you can choose from if you want.
6. Do the Small Things to Feel Good, But Be Aware of Creating New Bad Habits: Not only should you brush your teeth and substitute your pajamas for jeans. You should exercise to help release those endorphins. Also, eat that dessert. Drink that wine. Take that CBD Gummy Bear. But it’s really important that you don’t do these things to just mask your pain. It’s why talking and the activities suggested above are so important.
7. Make a Goal: Lose weight. Get in shape for a race that has no date. Be a better sleeper. Reorganize your entire house. Be a better friend, husband, wife, father or mother. Goals give us back that purpose we do desire.
8. Get Back into Something That Made You Happy as a Kid: Open baseball cards. Buy and play a game you used to play. Eat your favorite candy again (for me, it would be Charleston Chew!). There are smiles in your memory bank that you can reignite.
9. Watch the News to Make Decisions for You and Your Family: Do not avoid the news. Use it to your advantage. The learning curve with this virus has been incredibly steep. One week we are in the office, the next week we are out of it. The following week we are social distancing, the next week we are ordered to stay at home. Things are happening so fast that you have to follow the news to stay informed, but it’s a balancing act: If you ever feel like the bad news is becoming overwhelming, it’s OK to turn off the TV.
10. Don’t Stress About the Data: Everywhere you turn, coronavirus data is being flashed in front of you. Seemingly hourly, we’re inundated with updates on the number of new cases and the number of tragic deaths. And, to be clear, the dissemination of that information is important: The sheer amount of cases and the exponential rise in deaths is the only thing that will get certain lawmakers (and certain citizens) to follow federal directives.
Most of all, please take a breath. All of our mental health is going to be challenged in the next couple of months. We need as much clarity as we can muster in our heads so that we can have the healthiest bodies and strongest immune systems possible.