I honestly believe that physical traumas were at the core of my mental-health decline. In the early and mid ’90’s, I had several major and very painful surgeries, including two rounds of sinus surgery, and I never felt like I fully recovered from those traumas. I’m sure that if I’d been through talk therapy, it would have unearthed some things that I’d just as soon ignore, but by and large, I believe the pain and trauma of surgery, and a lifestyle that wore me down to nothing, most impacted the issues I dealt with later on. I also believe genetics played a role; my mom did a family tree deal and we discovered that several people in my extended family dealt with mental-health issues; some even died via suicide. So I’m guessing I wasn’t dealt a particularly good hand.

<The physical manifestations focused on fatigue. Just overwhelming, can't-get-out-of-bed fatigue. And there was muscle pain. For years, I felt like I had a giant lump in my throat and thought it was acid reflux, but I ultimately learned it was anxiety. To simplify it, I felt every day like I had the worst hangover of my life, except it was day after day, week after week, year after year.

In the late 1990’s, I started searching for answers. I went to psychiatrists. I went to Western doctors. I went to (expensive) holistic doctors. I made a trip to the Cleveland Clinic. Everybody had a different view of what might be wrong, and some just sloughed it off as everything being in my head. I had a great life, great family, loved playing hockey and golf, had a great job, but I was so exhausted, I couldn’t enjoy any of it. That search continued for the better part of a decade or even longer until I finally reached the point where I felt I could function and enjoy life.

There was no magic bullet for me. Slowly, the puzzle pieces came together. I found out I had low testosterone and low thyroid. I found out I was diabetic. I found out I had heart disease. One by one, we picked those issues off and I started feeling better, but I still had problems with fatigue and anxiety. I then went to a noted psychiatrist here in Indy and we experimented with several different medications before we finally found a combination that worked. Ultimately, though, the greatest thing that happened to me was learning I had sleep apnea. Since I got on a CPAP, my life has changed dramatically for the better.

I was inspired to tell my story after reading the stories about Kevin Love, DeMar DeRozan and Corey Hirsch. The whole time I was struggling, I kept promising myself that when I emerged from the darkness, I would help people with similar issues, and for years, I didn’t do much of anything. I was too busy catching up on the life I’d missed through that lost decade/15 years. But when Darren Rovell called and then Eric followed up, a lightbulb went off. Here was a chance to help people who were going through some of the same things I experienced. It just felt right.

I can honestly say that 99 percent of the readers who saw my piece were exceedingly kind and supportive. Several said they were going through the same things and asked how I found a sense of peace. There were a small few who said, “Man up; everybody’s got issues,” but the overwhelming sentiment was great, and the story did extraordinarily well on the web. Even today, somebody emailed to ask about getting a sleep study, which he hopes will help answer some of the questions he’s had about his failing mental and physical health.