How do you make some of your most important, life-altering decisions when the answer isn’t clear cut?
I found this pic bc I remember at the time, despite smiling, I was deep in thought. I was “paying attention” to what was being said at an event, but at the same time (I can even see it in my eyes), my mind was racing w a decision I’d have to soon make. The decision was whether to take an offer to go work for another team, or stay where I was.
The more calls I get from folks from a peer-to-peer perspective, the more I recognize that: important life decisions – decisions that would drastically alter/change a person’s life situation, are some of the biggest causes of angst we have. Transition is HARD – even when it’s our choice.
It could be a new job you’re offered, a decision to move your family, whether to stay in a relationship, whether to cut off a family member who’s difficult to handle.
I notice 3 main ways most ppl make these decisions: 1) making a list & weighing the pros & cons, 2) recognizing there are many factors but picking the ONE most important factor & deciding based on that ONE, 3) gut feel.
For me, lists have NEVER worked. Just bc there are 5 pros & 3 cons – what if 1 of the 3 cons is more important than any pro? I tend to make a hybrid decision – based on strategies 2 & 3. I know if that one MAIN thing isn’t right, I’ll never be happy, & usually my gut is in alignment w that.
How do you decide? Do you instead push off & not make decisions out of fear of change? Something we def need to discuss. These things eat away at us – they are PART of our stress, & addressing them is so important. Stress isn’t just about stuff that happens TO us. It’s stuff we obsess over as well.
