Been sharing pics in Stories recently, as I’ve been getting back to the gym. That’s been no small task. A looong journey many can relate to – that doesn’t get talked about enough.
We do talk a lot about – much of what trips us up from healing: our overactive thoughts, wondering why we’re not getting better – which feeds into a loop of keeping us in the same spot AS those ruminating thoughts overwhelm us.
Think about how common weight fluctuations &/or changes to proportions are on this mental health journey, & it appears as though it’s a taboo topic to discuss openly. Let me share my journey thus far, in the hopes of helping open it up:
I grew up an athlete & gym rat. There wasn’t a sport I didn’t play…& so while I may not’ve been the healthiest eater, my metabolism was always going.
Even in college- w food options 24/7, & lots of liquid meals, the activity levels & always being on the go, I never had to consider my weight.
After college & working in sports – gym was a way of life…& missing competition, I enrolled in about every after work rec league I could. Sure, as I got into my 30s, my metabolism slowed, but I was active enough, no matter what city I lived in, there wasn’t much weight fluctuation.
Then my crash began in Florida. FIRST thing before the real dysfunction began, was a loss of interest in things outside the office: gym & bball games were amongst the first to go.
Back in NY, laying in bed all that time, taking pill after pill, I barely thought about weight. I was surviving on ONE meal a day…bc I had no drives/no appetite. Wouldn’t that make me LOSE weight? If only it worked that way.
Fast forward to the healing, & my metabolism was JACKED up. When drives returned, I wanted to eat…but my metabolism was returning from hibernation. Add to that what these drugs do TO us- many pack on the lbs- slowing the metabolism, increasing carb cravings, decreasing satiation…& then the exhaustion from fighting your mind every day- having zero energy left for the gym or sports.
Then, we don’t love the way we look, but we’re doing what we need to survive. Think about that feedback loop impacting our mental health. If you’ve been there, I feel you.