Just bc you haven’t been feeling sad, or angry, or upset, does that mean that you’re feeling good?
Tough question to answer – & if I’m being self critical & diving deep, I’d say the answer to the above is a resounding – No.
This stretch of events has been a wild ride the past few wks, & it’s not slowing down any time soon. Looking back, it’s been great that I’ve been able to stay w my head above water, able to go to diff cities, able to present. I’ve even found time to do breathing practices on the planes/in my hotel rooms.
All of that said, just bc I’m getting by, & able to perform, that doesn’t mean I’m “good.”
I know I’m guilty of thinking – “well no major crash has happened recently, & no negative feelings have popped up, so all must be fine.”
Living like that, I’m fooling myself. My friend @farinasteve made a great analogy the other day – he said: “We play emotional whack-a-mole all the time.” An emotion comes up & it doesn’t feel good so we hit it back down & bury it. But hitting it back down doesn’t mean it goes away. It means it comes back somewhere else – maybe at a diff time in our life, maybe at a diff place in our body (like a pain in our back). But just like whack-a-mole, if all we do is force it back down, it has a way of resurfacing elsewhere.
I thought abt this bc – even KNOWING the above, we sometimes play this game, not by actually hitting the emotions back down, but by doing – what I’ve been doing the past month or so. We busy ourselves (& I don’t even mean as a purposeful coping mechanism). We busy ourselves bc what we’re busy w feels good & right & full of adrenaline, which we can feed off of. Usually it’s our work/career, but it could be taking care of the kiddos, watching over a sick parent, taking on volunteer duties, etc.
Being busy, is yet another way we don’t address what’s underneath our surface.
It’s something I’m going to be mindful of this next crazy stretch. It’s something I’m gonna work on. I’m gonna take moments of my day & speak out loud things that may be bothering me deep down…or write them out. There are no shortcuts. Too busy to address things doesn’t mean we’re “good.”