That’s a picture from fireworks tonight at a place called Eisenhower Park. Not feeling in the mood to go “out” out, my parents and grandmother asked me if I wanted to come with them to a concert and fireworks show at the park.
My thought process was this: May as well, live music even if it’s not the best cover bands let me lose myself in the moment, fireworks are the same every year, but since my family likes them, I’ll watch them enjoy.
Learned a lesson tonight about expectations. Coming back from the BS of this PTSD, getting back emotions has not been easy for me. Little flickers here and there, but nothing sustained.
We sat down to listen to the “concert.” Purposely in quotes there bc, lets just say it left a lot to be desired. That said, the part that feels the same to me every year – the fireworks, turned out to be the best part of the night. The pyro was no better than usual, but my reaction to it was.
I felt myself getting lost in each new flash of light. Best way I can describe it is, each firework explosion put me in a meditative state that allowed me to get lost in the moment and enjoy the calm feeling.
Over the PA (cheesy as it may sound), they started playing the song: “Proud To Be An American,” and memories of learning and loving that tune in Mr. Moreland’s 5th grade class came rushing trough me.
If I hadn’t gone, bc of my expectations, that little flash of emotion wouldn’t have grown into the momentary fire that it did for me.
Allow room for your expectations to be surpassed. You never know when the best part of this life – feeling the swings of high emotions – are gonna get through to you!
#SameHere #4thofjuly #expectations #fireworks #emotions