This might sound contradictory at first, right? From a young age we’re so condition to believe that crying = sadness = everything is “bad.”
As someone who hasn’t been able to cry in about 8yrs, let me help debunk the above.
I can remember a time when I was younger that I was VERY emotional. I’d watch Rocky & couldn’t sit still bc I wanted to go to the gym. When my grandfather passed away I wept for days. When I had a HS breakup, I thought it meant the end of the world bc maybe there was a piece of me that felt I’d marry this (then 16 yr old) one day.
I was able to emote. It felt painful, but it felt.
As I got older, my ability to feel as deeply started to wane. I’d just write it off as “being older & having been there, done that.” Wasn’t my 1st rodeo.
But then, when I fell ill for those 2.5 yrs, I developed annhedonia…a term too many of you know all too well. I couldn’t feel a THING. In fact, shit you not, I’d make up scenarios in my mind about terrible things happening to ppl in my life, just to see if I could GET myself to feel even something. But…nada.
Prob the most important takeaway from this whole post: feeling nothing at all, is way worse than feeling sad.
Our CNS’s have an interesting way of protecting us from pain, from overwhelm. We often get into freeze mode when we haven’t broken trauma cycles. Maybe it’s our brains way of saying – you can’t handle any more – you’ll instead feel nothing right now & that’s all I can give you.
So, if you’re sad, if you’re in pain, if situationally things aren’t going the way you’d like…I know it’s hard & I know you wish things would get “better.” But please also know that sadness & pain mean you’re alive, & able to feel & that you can appreciate so much more moving forward, bc of how other situations in life will compare. Embrace the feelings when you can.
