This month, every other night, my team & I are preparing a new share for the LIFE Saver Wall – families who have lost loved ones to suicide who are bravely sharing their stories together – in an effort to prevent future tragedies. Selfless folks who put their pain (but also their learning) out there, all in the hopes of helping others.
We were prepping last night for the share of today’s LIFE Saver family (slide➡️), the Millers – mom Janice, sharing on behalf of her daughter: @arlanajanellmillerfoundation & this theme just kept popping up, similar to many of the other stories already shared…as well as the ones we’ve reviewed, to follow: so many of these children were bright shining stars.
Arlana in this case was taking SIX classes at once…was on a full academic scholarship – while also participating as a student athlete at her college. How do we lose such bright stars?
The more I’m in this space, the more I realize – the things we are told to look out for in others: are they giving away possessions, do they have a plan…they fall way short.
We talk to schools all the time who inquire about the SameHere Scale & they then often say – well we have a system to discover the kids who are in crisis. What?? Some of the kids who literally are winning scholar athlete awards, are the lead in plays, are the first chair in band, are straight A students, are the ones MOST susceptible, bc often they can use work/performance/achievement as a way to mask emotional pain. That brightness comes from a deeper place where the pain needs accomplishment to make it go away.
It’s time we opened up to the idea of checking in on EVERYONE. In Arlana’s case, Janice believes that her injury & not being able to participate in her sport, was part of the mixture that led to that tragic outcome. “A moment” as she calls it. We as a society have to start looking out for everyone – not just those we are told fit some standard for “X number of symptoms on a DSM5” or “looking sad.” The old way is not working.
