Wish I’d known this early on…but I guess that’s where the learning process comes in! That IS where the healing knowledge comes from.
I’ve shared recently that over the last couple of wks, I’ve fallen into one of those MH ruts that just happens in life. Nothing situational I can point to. Potentially it’s a manifestation of the patterns that are my default that often get me into trouble – an excitement for work, too much of it as it gives me the ongoing dopamine hit, leading to the fools gold feeling that – “things are great & always going to remain this way,” taking my eye off of daily STARR exercises, leading to a build up of the “stuff” I’m not working on from my past, nor current stressors, leading to a crash.
And so why after knowing that, did I write this post card today? Bc when I’m in this rut, what feels like it SHOULD work for my body/for my healing, is the opposite of what I actually need to do, to heal. I was only able to learn that by failing so often at what I thought would work.
In the throes of my 2.5 yrs of hell – I did what I think most of us do when we don’t feel right: I slept MORE, day after day. We are conditioned in this model from a young age: fever, strep, bronchitis, pneumonia, flu – we feel run down & our parents say – take this med, curl up in the blanket you love, & let your body sleep & rest & recover.
That’s the right thing to do when your body needs to fight a fever or a virus or an infection. It’s NOT the right thing to do when your MH has taken a crash.
The problem is – the “run down” feeling is almost the SAME. So our bodies say – do what’s worked in the past.
Fortunately for me, I’ve learned when I get like this, tho it’s the LAST thing I WANT to do, I gotta get moving…stretching…breathing…even just waking.
Just the simple knowledge of what DOESN’T work, now makes my bounce back that much quicker each time, bc I don’t stay in a circular pattern wondering why I’m not getting better.
Learn from what doesn’t work & use it to avoid what you’ve defaulted to in the past. Healing is a constantly evolving journey.
