As I thought abt writing this post, another line also came to mind: Just when you think it’s over, it’s only just begun.
Think abt those of us who’ve for varying reasons, accepted the trauma model. We go thru these challenges in life – certainly in childhood: the divorce of parents, job losses of parents, moving to new towns, breakups, verbal abuses, sexual abuses, bullying, sicknesses of loved ones, losses of loved ones…the list goes on & on, even if we were raised w the greatest intentions…& then at some pt in adulthood, we need to heal from those wounds.
Some of us continue on w the traumas unaddressed, way into adulthood, absorbing them more & more, bc we’re resilient & find other things to focus/distract us. The realization we need to do work, happens at diff times for each of us. Sadly in most cases, the journey begins only once we develop “symptoms” &/or hit such a rock bottom we can’t go on w/o getting help.
And here’s one of the most difficult parts: w all the work that goes IN to healing, as we start to get better, the very ppl we were close w, & relied upon for friendship/support/camaraderie, etc., might be the very ones we grow apart from & can no longer maintain that connection with.
It’s happened to me, & I hear from so many of you how it’s happened to you. As we heal we necessitate deeper connections, greater understandings, & more evolved relationships. Especially when we have complicated interactions over circumstances (which something like the last 2 yrs have been).
I asked in Stories, how many feel the need to address events/conflicts over the last 2 yrs, vs sweep them under the rug. An overwhelming 83% said: have to address.
But how can we address conflict, & find mutual understanding, if others in our lives can’t/don’t want to do their own work? The answer is, sadly – we can’t. Having to accept THAT…is hard. It’s lonely – bc it could be the ppl we’ve known the most/been closest to in the past. But a pat on the back no longer suffices when we need deep connection/understanding.
If you feel the loneliness at times, even AFTER all the work you’ve done to heal – I feel you. Same Here.
