02/04/2023 With Experience Comes Wisdom and Maturity

We’re taught at a young age – respect your elders…& then what typically follows is: they have so much wisdom we can learn from. 

I love our elders. With how hard life can be, it’s an accomplishment to have lived/survived a long life (physically & mentally). And from many of them, I’ve learned a ton. Here’s the BUT: I’ve also learned when it comes to wisdom & maturity, age – is just a #.

Maybe it’s controversial to say, but in business…in social interactions…in dating…in interviewing/hiring: I’ve met some 20 somethings steeped in wisdom & maturity who’ve taught me a ton…& at the same time met folks in their retirement ages who seemed petty, rigid, & unable to see diff perspectives. 

More & more I’ve come to the conclusion that wisdom & maturity come not from the # of yrs you’ve lived, BUT from the # difficult life experiences you’ve encountered, where you’ve had to take it all in, gain a new perspective & adjust to survive.

Diving further – this came from another person’s post I shared in stories: “Blaming others serves the ego.” 

As humans our instinct is to AVOID pain (most often emotional pain). When we first go thru challenging events, we’re selfish bc it’s all abt us & how we can avoid the pain. That’s WHY we have so many ppl on “sides” on issue (from as macro as politics to as micro as whether your fam should get a dog). We stay in our mammalian brain & make emotional decisions to avoid the pain. We self-protect.

But maturity & wisdom come from having WORKED THRU pain before (having sat in our “stuff”). It’s then that we can see other’s perspectives, even when we’re in pain, escape the mammalian brain response, think w our prefrontal cortex…& work WITH & THRU situations – not make snap decisions, judgements & projections on “others.” That experience & that work is the only way this world heals. 

Last nt➡️met w a PTA in NJ. It’s parents who voluntarily come who get the above. Seeing a new perspective on MH.

Other slide: podcast on the Tyre Nichols incident. Seeing that abuse thru the lens of others who’ve been in ANY type of abuse. 

Experience, working-thru, THAT’s where wisdom comes from. Not age alone.

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