It’s a really cool feeling to go thru life – observing & taking mental notes of the idiosyncrasies that we humans see in ourselves/one another – only to then read books that give logical explanations as to “why” we act the way we do.
This is prob why I prefer non-fiction, & again why I’ve been loving reading Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book on how we experience & process trauma. (Btw if I pass the pt of over-referencing it, please let me know. Just geeked out by all the nuggets in it).
Ever watch someone tell a story abt a past event, & most often a trauma: loss of a loved one, accident, abuse, etc., & when they’re mid-narrative, they break down? Cry as they reach a certain moment? Delivering a speech abt why they love someone or abt someone they lost, & they’re almost thru, then BAM: they start sobbing?
It’s a phenomenon we see often at funerals. But the understanding of these two ways we internally process past events, is so impt for us to pick up, for us to make progress on our healing journeys.
Being self-critical, I find myself in situations where I have to tell the story of my trauma history a LOT. Not just one event, but many over my childhood. On intro calls it can be 3-4X a day. In presentations it’s at least 1X a day.
But, after reading this book I’m gaining a greater understanding that the story I tell publicly, is not the same as really diving into the feelings viscerally & truly FEELING those emotions, so I can continue to integrate/process & even move past what “happened to me.”
Yes sharing the narrative’s healing in & of itself to “get that off your chest so others know,” whether to a large group or even individually to a friend. But, I’m typically NOT caught in the emotions of it at the time.
And I gotta question – do I use THAT I tell my story often, as a way to NOT have to dive deeper into the actual feelings of it all, to process it better & not let it fester inside me, like a shaken bottle of soda?
Just something to consider – the story you do share (w whomever) – are you actually tapping into your emotions & “letting the fizz out”…or are you just saying it out loud bc you know you need to?
